On Comedy

Just a few Sunday Morning thoughts on the nature of comedy. One of the problems I sort of see for a comedian is that once a joke is told it's out there, it's done, so sometimes you will see the great comedians who actually tell stories, to which there may or may not be a punchline , but the journey provides the fun.

I am lucky enough to be casually acquainted with some truly great comedians John Scott , Gavin Webster , Louise Young , Rahul Kohli and Simon Donald.

All these people can talk , but obviously put a lot of work into what they say and I have seen and chatted with all of them at The Stand and various places in Newcastle.

Sometimes comedy can only work as the written word such as the Jerry Saltz one which you can see to the right. I've tried verbalising this and it just doesn't work , and the really good thing about this is that it makes your mind think. 

When a comedian is live they have to keep this up all the way through , otherwise they die on stage.

But on writing this I am thinking that once you hear a joke then that's it , but it isn't. A good comedian you can watch tell the same jokes over and over , but really the jokes and one liners provide a framework for the act to be delivered.

Though not the same it's like going to see a band who's songs you like. They will play the same songs but maybe in a different order, embellish the style or strip it down to give you a different experience.

With TV Comedy I can watch "Black Books" , "Father Ted" and "The IT Crowd" over and over, "Fawlty Towers" I find more difficult but it is still dunny and always loved the rearrangement to to hotel name at the start of each episode. Again it's a pleasure for me and the characters being total enjoyment.

So while I could take an excerpt from a TV show or one of the acts I listed, I will just link through and their names and share the wonderful "Comedy" by Shack with you , because it is a great song.

Weird Dreams, John Scott, Ellen Mellor and Nick Cave - - #Oktoberfest #28 - Coffee and TV - Blur

I've just woken up for a sort of weir dream. My friend the excellent comedian John Scott was emailing me songs from the new Nick Cave album "Ghosteen", the title reminiscent of "Ghostkin" a novel by my friend Ellen Mellor , any way John was emailing me three songs at a time and Nick Cave was sending me similar stuff from John Scott. The only thing to trigger this dream is that John has said how goof the album is and the title reminds me of Ellen's book. For a dera this was fairly normal apart from the fact that the only emails I get are spam and demands for money of to renew my web domains.

So that's the dream and now on to #Oktoberfest and I hadn't really thought of any new drink related songs so have to fall back on a reserve which is "Coffee and TV" by Blur  so really I need to get a few more on the list as there is still a week to go in October although that has just reminded me of "Cigarettes and Alcohol" by Oasis so that is not the worst song to include in the sequence, so I am OK for another post.

The Problem With Listening To David Bowie Albums

On this morning's walk I decided to put on David Bowie's "Scary Monsters and Super Creeps". I am still taken in by the dirty production sound on the music, but was almost shocked at the consistency of the songs on itl Almost every song is top notch, with the slightest of dips for "Scream Like A Baby" which would be a standout song on almost any other album.

Starting with "It's No Game #1" which is an amazing opener, into "Up The Hill Backwards" with it's mutant "Not Fade Away" intro riff, then the triumvirate of singles, the title track , "Ashes To Ashes" and "Fashion",, the "Teenage Wildlife" doesn't let up. "ScreamLike A Baby" is the slightest of lulls before we are hit with "Kingdom Come" (a Tom Verlaine song) and the closing reprise of "It's No Game #2". Absolutely stunning.

ANd here comes the problem with listening to David Bowie albums, and it is not actually a problem. My friend John Scott posted on Facebook here  his 10 favourite Bowie albums and asked for people's favourite three Bowie albums. I listed my three with the caveat that it would change tomorrow. Usually I say "Station To Station" or "The Man Who Sold The World" but you know my opinion on "Scary Monsters and Super Creeps".

Basically whichever Bowie album you are listening to is your favourite Bowie album. You don't skip songs on a Bowie album, you discover things you haven't heard before, which is a great situation to be in for any artist.

As well as that it's Friday so enjoy.

One One Two Zero One Eight

Happy new year and an obvious song to welcome in the New Year would be U2's "New Year's Day", but that is a bit obvious, and I'm currently working therough "Songs of Experience" their latest album which I was completely unaware of until my friend John Scott mentioned he was listening to it. It's a follow up to "Songs of Innocence" , the one they deposited free into everyone's iTunes accounts that people then couldn't easily get rid off which turned a lot of people into your typical red top readers being offended by something that , at worst , was just an annoyance.

The new album is very listenable all though there it's nothing that hits you like a hammer and the first ten songs have very low key production although toward the end you begin to hear U2 signatures such as the duplo guitar and Bono starting to actually stretch his vocal chords. My favourite song so far is "Lights of Home" which sound more like an old blues song with a wonderful guitar sound and ruff.

Today I've seen a rainbow, and been out to the Co Op and it's another month to start my steps but I don't think I will hit my 11K today.

So it's a  start to a New Year and I have just found another reason to hate iTunes , tryied to play the beautiful "To Ohio" by The Low Anthem then I had to log in to play it, then it told me my computer wasn't authorised, so I had to autorise it (two logins to play one song), I do hate Apple, they may look good but their systems are full of holes and stupidity.

Anyway I found a live version of "To Ohio" and that I think is a great start to 2018. Start having a good New Year now.

Time For Bed

After a day which involved going to Edinburgh and back , semi acknowledging my mate John Scott coming out of Edinburgh Waverley, buying far too many books in FOPP (all essential of course) , I am now ready to fall into bed before another days work tomorrow.

I've been writing Christmas Cards and for some reason keep typing Christmas as Christams , just me getting careless with my fingers. Spelling mistakes are very easy to make and then easy to miss. I am just glad we have spelling and grammar checkers which give you a fighting chance of getting your text right , although sometimes you can use the wrong word even though it sounds right

When I came back I checked some stuff on my PC and thought I would pull out a random album, which happened to be "Going For The One" by Yes. I'd forgotten what an excellent riff that was , and so obviously I will include it here. The album contains the twee "Wondrous Stories" but it is worth buying for the title track alone.

Anyway I will include "Going For The One" and I am going to bed right now.

Sleep well my friends.

Positive Fun Times

Some Bridges

I really like to maintain a positive attitude and generally post positive things in here, but I do notice that the things that most of the public like are things they can complain about , things that they can moan about. I always used to think that the closer you got to Manchester , the more miserable people got .. after all that's where Coronation Street is set and let's face it it's not the happiest of places , though that can be said of most TV soaps , it's just that Coronation Street has been around for as long as me.

But really there are lots of great things going on. Newcastle has been holding the Jesterval where my friends Gavin Webster and John Scott performed and they always make me laugh , though John's gig was 10:30 to 11:30 on a Tuesday night, as I left the tent in front of the Baltic Mill I saw that last Quayside Bus disappearing meaning  a walk to the Taxi Rank outside the Akenside. I realised I needed some cash and as I went to the ATM I was accosted by somebody who ran up to me and said "I've Had A Really Bad Time , Give Me Some Money Now!!"  Really ? I took my money from the cash machine and suggested he made his may elsewhere and  I wouldn't be threatened into financing whatever he wanted.


Tonight Trillians celebrates a year since it's reopening with the mighty AKQ Stottin' on the stage , and unbelievably I have never seen them so tonight that will be rectified. This is the thing about Newcastle , there are so many things to do , places to go , in such a small city. I just love the place. Also Trillians has become a regular lunchtime eatery for me with an all day breakfast or Bangers and Thrash watching whatever film they are playing with music leaning toward the rockier side, though their take on Black Sabbath is hilarious.



Today the weather is grey and rainy , but I mowed the lawn and it's not too cold, well really it is quite summery. So I am going to include videos of the three acts I have mentioned and this is hardly scratching the surface,

Although I managed to miss my friend Nick's daughter Alisha's debut at The Three Tuns, I love her voice , check her out here

SO everybody have a brilliant weekend , there are lots of great things to enjoy , go enjoy yourself .

Black Friday Has Gone (Hopefully Forever)

Well Black Friday has come and gone , retailers would have the rabble spending money they haven't got on things they never needed. Black Friday to me was the Stock Market crash in the late eighties when we let the idiot traders freed by the idiot right wingers have computers so then could predict how they were going to mess up so much faster. My biggest ever financial loss came when I bought shares in Lastminute.com and some other company that bombed on recommendations from Morgan Stanley, and I bet at Ladbrokes and William Hills. Stock Market Traders aren't that much different than the guy who goes down th ebookies except they are paid to do it with other peoples money.

I Will Be Here Soon

Anyway you what I did yesterday after work. I spent a great night with friends who I hadn't seen in ages , laughing chatting , drinking eating and catching up , and that put a huge huge smile on my face and theirs. The only money that was spent was on food and drink , and a couple of expensive taxis. That is the way to have a Friday , having a great time with great friends laughing and giving hugs.

Obviously only one song for this , and John Scott will hate me for it. Black Friday by Steely Dan.

Have a brilliant brilliant weekend everyone , CSI Ambleside is calling and you know what that means..

Coincidentally ....Two Johns

Am I Going To Hell?

Today has been a day of coincidences. I always have a chuckle when people say "things happen for a reason" yet can't give an actual reason for what happened. That's just coincidence, and often you can use it to link together totally disparate places people and events, so I'll tell you about today, although part of these linked coincidences started nearly forty years ago in 1977. But there's a lot of disparate threads that really have no connection but just happened to coincide.

Punk 45

Anyway yesterday I bought an excellent book of punk single covers called Punk 45. It's enlightening to see how many of the artists looked on the sleeve of the early singles, Sting, Iggy Pop and Gary Numan look recognisable but young. It's also a fairly hefty tome but great to browse through and big enough to read without the aid of a magnifying glass.Today I needed to go into town to pick up some train tickets and some bits to update my sound system.






When I got to the bus stop it was sunny and there was a young lady there sort of singing , I assume to what was on her phone. She turned round and said what a nice day it was and then saw the caption on my T-Shirt and seemed to take it quite seriously, telling me that god had a place for me in heaven and hell was for the evil angels. We chatted on and she was happy and pleasant but a bit forceful, and then the bus didn't turn up, so I spent nearly thirty minutes in some verbal jousting. I didn't want to upset as she was going to a christening, but just said everyone should live morally and look out for others and stay happy, so we left on good terms. The christening was in Byker, home of part of the next thread of coincidence.

Suspended Sentence - Check The Line Up - John Scott!

A couple of years ago I went to see John Cooper Clarke at the O2 Academy in Newcastle and was very impressed by the MC on the night , Mr John Scott. I was so impresses with Mr Scott that he was the second best thing I saw that night,  but then sought out further gigs, and am really pleased he's on regularly at venues such as The Stand.

John is from Byker, so that's the thread I mentioned before, but was looking at the line up for John Cooper Clarke's first single.....

......and the guitaris is John Scott. Now the John Scott I know would have been about 10 at the time so was either a child prodigy on the Manc scene or it's a different guy.







Now certainly people could tie all these facts together to mean something , but I know it's all coincidence.


So basically I've had a great weekend and I hope you have too. If you can get a copy of the book do so. I've included so youtube footage of the two Johns for you to enjoy.

Longer Days Shorter Nights

Apparently we are due an Arctic Storm , a good friend tells  me, and that's confirmed by the cold wind, rain and weather forecast, but it is December 22nd. Today went into town and it was quiet. Went to The Stand in Newcastle for dinner (at 2pm - that's dinner time!), and bought a book of short seasonal stories called Twas the Night Before, Before Christmas' in aid of  NECA (North East Council on Addictions) , there's more details here. I immediately saw there was a story by mate John Scott so read that with more than one guffaw as I ate my tempura coley.

I'd been considering the Lou Reed song for my December list for a few days, but thought it would be a bit depressing, but it is a very listenable anti war song , and a good way to remember the great curmudgeon. A very intelligent man who wrote songs that everyone can play, that is a stroke of pure genius and what made the Velvet Underground truly great. If you you pick up a guitar you can play a Lou Reed song and sound good and cool. I will now have to do that for you won't I?

Anyway enjoy your day, night , and I may as well include a bit of John Scott at the bottom for you to enjoy too.

Have FUN

Lot's of people miss this point and having fun can make you laugh, and making yourself laugh makes you happy and being happy makes you feel good. I was talking to someone about having fun and they had just discovered a comedy club in their town. In Newcastle we're lucky , we have lot's of comedy nights all over the place from pubs that put on comedy nights to the actual comedy venues such as the Hyena Cafe and The Stand.


I've seen my friends Gavin Webster and John Scott at both venues and always come away feeling better than I went in. So if you are looking for fun you can do worse than a decent comedy gig. I'm showing three videos in the post. The first is the brilliant John Scott , the second is Gavin Webster's take on the Gateshead Third Reich , and the third is not funny at all but just a wonderful song called Comedy by the brilliant Liverpool group Shack.

So I expect you all to have smiles on your faces , find something to laugh about and go forward into the week and have lots of fun.

Good Things Happen

She Loves Me .. A New Rebecca Cother Picture - click for more

Well after the weekend, in some ways today has been apparently full of let downs. But actually those let downs then give way to more good things. I see a lot of sloganeering on Facebook saying that when something that isn't apparently to your advantage happens it's just God (or your favourite supreme entity) making way for the really good stuff to happen.

First of all I had no data signal between Newcastle and Darlington, but that gave me the opportunity to listen to music and read.

Secondly my peace and my table was disturbed by three people alighting at Durham, but we got on like a house on fire and the last part of the journey flew by.

Thirdly power failure closed down the Stand so I missed the Lit & Phil Benefit and my favourite comedian John Scott. That meant a nice meal at Dabbawal with Kirsty and Fiona, whis Juliet could have made it but she has course work to see to.

So today turned out rather well and I thought of this rather wonderful song by Lissie:

No New Job

The Wonderful Lit & Phil Interior

..but if you don't keep trying you don't get anywhere. Lot's of positive comments from lot's of nice people. And sometimes just by trying one door another opens for you. I've proved to  myself that I can succeed, I have had some great feedback and discovered that I can express myself to people who matter.

And tonight I decided that I will be going to see my friend John Scott hosting a benefit for the wonderful Newcastle Literary & Philosophical Society  (they're on Facebook here) at The Stand on Monday

This is just a short post to let people know that I didn't get the job, and an excuse to share a picture of the Lit & Phil
and a a bit of John Scott (which is always good for you). Have a great night , or day if you are across the pond

Christmas Day

It's been a weird and wonderful day, totally relaxed , recovering from various health rigours and have an excellent Christmas tea with chicken , brussels sprouts and all the trimmings prepared by Fiona. The watching , interspersed with each other Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows and my favourite Shakespeare play The Tempest featuring Helen Mirren as a gender swapping Prospera and Russell Brand as a quite excellent Trinculo , you wouldnt expect Brand and Shakespeare to cross , but they do rather well.

Family phonecalls and getting rest from work has made it a most excellent Christmas day.


Looking forward to a comedy night at the Stand with the excellent John Scott and Gavin Webster , followed by Lord Rochester at The Schooner on Saturday. This could be a most excellent week ....

Some Bands Do .... Some Bands Don't

Thanks to Carol for reminding me I'd not posted for ages. This has been running around in my head for a couple of weeks. It is a post in response to John Scott and possibly Gavin Webster's detestation of Steely Dan. John's original gripe was that reruns of The Old Grey Whistle Test were marred when Souixsie and The Banshees were juxtaposed with the video below, and I fully support him on this however ......



  
Reelin' in the Years is a damned fine song . This video doubly marred by the performing seal / walrus hybrid jumping around on staging during his guitar solo. Not good.

In the seventies a friend of mine, Jon Ashurst,  described Steely Dan as the greatest most boring band in the world ,and listen to them and you can see why that description  fits so well.  The music papers used phrases like "educated rock" etc , which , lets face it rock is meant to blow you away  , if you want sedating listen to the charts.

Then at som point they released the lead track for the film "FM" . "No static at All" they promised and we know that was a lie. AOR (Adult Orientated Rock)  Boz Scaggs , Kenny Logins et al paving the way for poodle rock balladeers of the eighties like REO Speedwagon , the descent into syrup rock of Chicago and other musical disasters and cul-de-sacs.

Steely Dan are probably more detested fro what they caused than what they are.

The thing is Steely Dan have no place next to punk rock , but I have Steely Dan and The Ramones and Sex Pistols in my collection , and dont feel that's a problem . Below is a playlist of half a dozen listenable Steely Dan songs and you should try it , you might enjoy it. Incidentally both "Dallas" and "Sail The Waterway" , "B" sides from their first two singles have been disowned by the band and never officially appeard in digital format , but they are two of my favourite Steely Dan songs! Though my all time favourite is still "Barrytown".





Steely Dan arent for everyone , but they are and excellent band , well worth a listen.

Would Jubilee Vit? - A Campaign To Get Minnie The Moocher To Number One For The Queen's Diamond Jubilee

Well the Queen's Diamond Jubilee weekend is here , I'm fairly neutral about the Royal Family though the Charles is Ok . The Queen has outlasted five Popes and is looking suprisedly fine for her age and I reckon that she willl outlast her mum.


Lot's of people are dissing the Royals while taking advantage of the various bank holidays generated for events such as this. I seriously think the most misguided is the attempt to get the Sex Pistols "God Save The Queen" to Number One for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee . The record is 35 years old , and it's quivalent in 1977 would have been trying to get Louis Jordan  or Cab Calloway to number one , though I think Minnie The Moocher would be a worthy Jubilee Number one.Download it here and Make it the Jubilee Number One!!

If you are going to protest , do something new and different, Rage Against The Machine hitting the christmas number one has a lot to answer for , but the face that Amazon were selling the download for 29p may have helped.

Anyway enjoy the Jubilee Weekend , there's pleanty happening. On Monday there's "Dishonourable Subjects" at The Stand in Newcastle, billed as

"A gala evening of comedy and music to mark the head of state being unelected for 60 years. We’ll be taking the piss out of the Royal establishment. Proceeds to local charities." with Gavin Webster, Anvil Springstien, Tony Jameson, John Scott and special guests. SO I'll be toddling along to that.

Also happening is the Newcastle Green Festival , the fact that it's raining should make the grass even greener!!

Easy To Make A Mistake Jet

Yesterday I was flying to Bristol with Easyjet. Not much can go wrong. As I buckled up my belt I thought I'd mis heard the destination "Belfast" metioned over the intercom. I queried this with the guy in front:

"Is this flight for Belfast mate?"

"I bloody hope so" came the reply.

I'd had my ticket clearly marked with Bristol checked by several members of staff but still managed to get on the wrong flight. Luckily the Bristol flight was delayed so I didn't miss out on the day's entertainment.

The lesson to be learned if you buy a very cheap ticket you could get a very expensive flight to a destination that starts with the same letter (New York instead of Newcastle anybody?).

To quote John Scott , "Primark with wings".

John Scott - Brilliant Comedian

A couple of months back I went to see John Cooper Clarke at the Carling Academy and he was MC'd by a great Scot from Byker . Emailed the Carling and got sweet FA back, but at a birthday bash at the Hyena Cafe in Newcastle on Saturday night he was the support (should have been the headliner. Anyway found this quiet vid on youtube , turn up your speakers , enjoy and if you get the chance to see him , GO!!



Cant find any DVDs or recordings so just go and see him.

"Easyjet , Primark with Wings!!"

Apparently he runs the Horses Mouth Comedy Night at The Chillingham Arms in Newcastle according to this two year old BBC article. And here's a bit more about him.